I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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