I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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