And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
