Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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