At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also, beer. Big fan.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
