when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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