Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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