Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
