i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
