you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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