yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We got so high we made milksteak
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
