DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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