My hair reeks of homosexuality.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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