Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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