i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
