East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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