remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
