She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
