I must be too annoying 4 u.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
