two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
