Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
