have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
