They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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