i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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