SEEEEXXX PLEASE
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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