I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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