Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
