I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize