My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Holy shit dude........stairs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
