Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
