Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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