I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
