I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
