so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
