last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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