The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
