just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
