Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
