This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
