You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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