we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
