He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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