Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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