thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
