Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
