Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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