I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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