not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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