i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
