i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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