He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize