rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
