There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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