The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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