both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
