He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i came on her dog
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
