Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
