Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Found your dick twin last night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
