I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
