apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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