so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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