Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
