He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize