UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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